


sing me to sleep so maybe you'll love me again

by blessthatcoolnerd



Series: Everything Hawk and Demetri [1]
Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F slur, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Several Chapters, Taylor Swift - Freeform, bianary boyfriends, demetri needs a hug too, drivers license, god he messed up, hawk needs a hug, kinda slow burn, meathawk, might make this a series, olivia rodrigo - Freeform, or more like his best friend, sam and miguel are good friends, they're in love but cant admit it, warning for f slur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:28:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29059026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blessthatcoolnerd/pseuds/blessthatcoolnerd
Summary: Songs that make me think of Hawk and Eli, tied into a cheesy fic where they eventually fall in love again.
Relationships: Demetri/Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz
Series: Everything Hawk and Demetri [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2131947
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	1. drivers license

"I got my driver's license last week, just like we always talked about. Cuz you were so excited for me to finally drive up to your house."  
Hawk sighed as he listened to the lyrics flow through his car stereo as he thrummed his hands against the steering wheel. He tried not to, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Demetri. 

"And you're probably with that blonde girl, who always made me doubt."  
His mind flashed to the image of Demetri and Yaz laughing and holding hands in the cafeteria that day before he broke Demetri's arm. As the image of Demeitri curled up and crying on the floor of the Golf 'n Stuff laser tag arena popped into his head, he was suddenly hit with a wave of guilt. He hadn't meant to hurt Demetri in such a harsh way, but he was just so angry. Angry that Demetri could go running to the girl who made his life miserable the minute Hawk was gone. Angry that he wasn't there to hold Demetri's hand anymore. Angry that Demetri seemed so fine without him. 

"I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one. And I just cannot imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone."  
Tears dripped down his face as he sped up on the highway and cut a white suburban off to get off at the intersection where Demetri's house was. He wasn't going to do anything; he just had to see his house one more time. Had to remember those nights he spent laughing with Demetri. The night he kissed him, the night he realized that he had fallen in love with him. 

God, he was such a cliche. He had fallen for his best friend, and then he had broken his own heart in the process of convincing himself that he wasn't gay. That he absolutely did not love Demetri. Because then, his deadbeat father would be right, John Krease would be right, Kyler would be right. They all would be right. He would be nothing but the freaky kid with the weird lip. And on top of all of that, he would also be a fag. He would be a disappointment to everyone he ever loved. He would be nothing. 

But, Hawk knew, that wasn't entirely true. Until recently, he wasn't nothing. He was everything to his best friend. His binary brother. His Demetri. 

"Fuck!" He yelled as he beat his hands against the steering wheel. He had fucked up so bad. He has lost the one person who loved him no matter what. Demetri, who had never once said a bad thing about his cleft lip. Demetri, who never made fun of him for his sleep enuresis. Demetri, who had held his hand at the doctors' appointment where they said he could be autistic. Demetri, who loved him unconditionally through everything. 

"Can't drive past the places we used to go to; because I still fucking love you, babe."  
God, he missed him so much. His annoying fucking rambling. The way his eyes always looked directing into Eli's instead of on his mouth. The way whenever Eli was cold he would just have to climb into Demetri's lap and he would hold him. The way that no matter what, he had Demetri. He wasn't constantly worrying about karate wars, and whether or not he needed to watch his back. He just had Demetri. Through it all. And now he doesn't; because he just fucked everything up. 

He finally made his way past Demetri's house, and he stopped to just stare at the hedges. He thought about all the times he and Demetri would run into the front yard together ready to go inside and read the newest edition of their comics. He thought about all the nights they waited up all night outside just to watch the stars.

"Cuz you said forever, now I drive alone past your street." 

Wiping his eyes, he started the engine and drove away.


	2. the story of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demetri hates Hawk, but god, does he love Eli. There's just so many walls up that he can't breakthrough.

Miguel, Sam, and Demetri all had a rule when driving in the car together. It was straightforward and seemingly harmless. It was a rule that was absolutely unbreakable to the trio, one that they have been using since before everyone went all cobra crazy. And that rule was that whoever called aux when getting in the car; got the aux. No exceptions. Usually, it's no problem because Miguel or Demetri tend to get the aux (Sam is usually too preoccupied with lecturing one of them to think of a game plan for getting it), but today it was most definitely a problem. Demetri was instantly regretting the 'no expectations' rule he made when they were trying to get him to shut off Weird Al. 

Something not everyone knows is that Sam LaRusso is absolutely a closeted Swiftie. She's kept it a secret for a long time, planning on not telling anybody this. However, one day Miguel and Demetri walked in on Sam before practice jamming out to "Speak Now". They both have regretted that day ever since because now Sam feels free to show her true colors to the boys when they're all in the car. And unfortunately, today is one of those days. 

"Buckle up, boys, because we have a long drive to the country club, and we are getting our T-Swift on the whole way!" Sam cheered loudly from the front seat. Both Demetri and Miguel audibly groaned as she switched on "Love Story"; she had always preferred Taylor's older music to her newer music. Thankfully, Demetri had brought his D.S. to entertain him, and he blocked most of everything else out. 

'This is fine; it'll be fine. As long as she doesn't play-' Demetri's train of thought was soon cut off by the intro of "The Story of Us" beginning to play. 'Oh, fuck.' he thought as he inwardly groaned. 

"I used to know my place was a spot next to you; now I'm searching the room for an empty seat because lately, I don't even know what page you're on." Blared through Sam's car radio, and Demetri was automatically hit with memories of Eli. The one person he was desperate to forget. He thought about the first day Miguel had joined them for lunch and how they always sat together, how he was never alone because he always had Eli. And then he thought about how he can't even look at Eli now. Not with that dumbass haircut and stupid manic panic he dumps in his hair. He can't look at him and take him seriously. Because he's not his Eli anymore. He's Kreese's 'Hawk'. He shuddered at the thought and then looked up to see if Sam or Miguel noticed anything off. They thankfully didn't. 

"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room, and we're not speaking. And I'm dying to know if it's killing you like it's killing me." He thought of Moon's party, how he had been so desperate to get the hell out of there the minute he saw Eli. But then he couldn't help but feel a bit of pity for the guy as he saw him watching Moon and Piper making out with a heartbroken expression. Demetri knew how that felt; unrequited love. And then he thought of how when he was finally starting to get Eli to open up to him again, he had fucked it up and said the wrong thing. And then he fucked it up again by telling everyone at the party all of Eli's biggest secrets. And just like that, he hurt the person he loved most. 

Suddenly, he felt his face become wet with tears. He hastily tried to wipe them off, but to no avail, he couldn't stop crying. He just hoped that Sam and Miguel wouldn't notice. 

"I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know-how. I've never heard silence quite this loud." And, God, he misses Eli so much. He loves Eli more than anything. Eli was sweet and caring, and loving. Who held him when he was scared. Who cried WITH him when Dobby died. Eli, who he loved more than life. Eli, who had been replaced with Hawk. The same Hawk who had beaten him down tormented him and broke his arm. Deep down, he knows they're the same person, but he can't help but think maybe Eli is in there somewhere. Especially after three nights ago when he saw him drive past his house and stop there for a few minutes. He had hoped that had been some part of Eli. 

At this point, he's full-on sobbing, and that gets Miguel's attention, who immediately turns the radio off. 

"Hey, hey, Demetri, what's wrong, man?" Miguel asked in a panicked tone. 

"I just," he hiccuped, "I miss him so fucking much," Demetri said through broken sobs, hands gripping his hair. 

"Who? Hawk? Why would you miss him, Dem? He broke your arm! He doesn't deserve you!" Sam exclaimed, bewildered. 

"You don't understand, Sam!" Demetri yelled, "I loved him, okay? I was in love with him. He never knew; he'll never know. He'll never care. I love him so much. And that song, it, it, reminds me of him. Of what I'll never have again. And it doesn't help that he was randomly driving by my house earlier in the week--" 

"He did WHAT?" Sam fussed before pulling the car over to have an in-depth conversation about this. 

"He didn't do anything to hurt me. He just drove past my house and sat in his car, and stared at my front door for a while. And I kept thinking, 'Please, Eli, come in. Apologize. Let's talk, be my best friend again.' And he didn't do any of that. He sat there for five minutes before driving away." Demetri said, still crying slightly but mostly just looking deflated. 

"I knew you were in love with him. I honestly thought you guys were together. I was surprised when he became Hawk and turned on you the way he did." Miguel said quietly, "Listen, I can't tell you that Eli is going to come back. I don't think he ever will," the words crushed Demetri's heart, " But I don't think he'll be Hawk forever. I think he'll eventually be something in between. I think he'll come back to you one day. And if you really love him, Dem, you can't lose hope." Miguel finished his mini-speech and looked over at Sam who was nodding along. 

"Okay," Demetri said with a quivering breath, "I won't let go. I'm not ready to let go yet. And when he comes back, I'll be here to help him." He said with a small smile. 

"Good," Sam nodded while reaching over and patting his knee, "Now what do you say to some Weird Al and then an awesome day at the beach?" 

Demetri smiled brightly at this, and Miguel groaned.

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many plans for Hawk and Demetri fics.


End file.
